The intent of this post is to amuse you, the reader, but maybe you can relate???

For several months, I find myself unable to fall asleep on a Saturday night.  This phenomenon crept up on me before I realized it was a pattern.  It’s possible now that it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy and I’m hoping it creeps away as sneakily as it appeared.  Regardless, this past Saturday night, sometime in the wee hours, I realized I was having a conversation with myself that went something like this…

Body:    This bed is so comfy.  Goodnight Brain.  Catch you up in the morning.

Brain:    Goodnight?  Are you forgetting what night this is?

Body:    I’m retired.  I don’t care what night this is.  They’re all the same.

Brain:    This is Saturday, our together and alone time night.  Call it a date night, if you wish.

Body:    We’re together all the time and we don’t “date”.  Goodnight.

Brain:    Oh, we date alright.  Every Saturday night for the past several months.  Haven’t you noticed?

Body:    Now that you mention it, you have been rather active on Saturday nights for quite some time.  Why?  And why Saturday?

Brain:    I like consistency and Saturday is as good a night as any. 

Body:    No.  Why are you active only one night each week?

Brain:    I only get lonely once a week.  Shall I sing you a song?

Body:    Please don’t.  You’ll pick a random song you don’t know all the words to and keep repeating it over and over and over and over and over…

Brain:    But I like to sing and we’re practicing.  Just for a few minutes.

Much later…

Body:    It’s been over an hour.  Please stop, I’m begging you.      

Brain:    Okay.  How about we share the highs and lows of our week?

Body:    We’ve already done that, in the moment.  No point to rehash. 

Brain:    I know you’re reading a good book.  We could discuss it.  Make some predictions on what’s coming next.

Body:    I think not.  I’m very tired.  Leave me alone.

Brain:    I’ve always liked counting back from 100…

Body:    Really?  Are you intending to inject me with some kind of anesthetic?

Brain:    I’ve got it!  You’ve got a lot of items on your to-do list.  Let’s review them together and maybe prioritize.

Body:    No.  I’m thinking of getting up and taking some kind of sedative to get rid of you.

Brain:    Ha!  We both know that’s an idle threat.  It’s way too late for that.  Look, the sky is starting to lighten.

5 minutes later…

Brain:    You still there?  Your lack of participation is hurtful.

Body:    (Sigh)  I’m still here but I don’t want to be.  Your insistence is annoying and making me resentful.  And I’m getting a headache and starting to feel nauseous from lack of sleep. 

Brain:    Pshaw.  You’ll be fine.

Body:    Seriously?  You would allow me to suffer just because you’re lonely?  What kind of partner are you anyway?  I need sleep to keep me healthy.  YOU need sleep to keep your wires from frazzling.  You don’t want to end up disoriented and unable to do your job properly, do you?  I know you take a lot of pride in how well you perform. 

Brain:    Hmmm… well, maybe just a few hours.

3 hours later…

Brain:    Rise and shine!  It’s going to be a fabulous day!

Body:    I give up.